Day 32 – The Queen of Swords

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Of all the Queens in the Tarot court the Queen of Swords has always been the one I least related to. I pulled her last night, and thought I would have nothing to save about her. Now revisiting her I actually can relate to her in many ways. I remember reading in Waite’s Pictorial Key to the Tarot (the book my Mom bought me when I was 14 to go with my cards) that the Queen of Swords could bare her sorrow. I’ve lived a lot since I was 14 and I have experienced some sorrows and pain, I can understand that now. Needing to bare your sorrows and go on living.

In Theresa Reed’s Coloring Book she says the Queen is “a perfectionist with a big vision.” This afternoon I attended a Board meeting for the organization I work at. Rereading this description tonight I have to confess that that describes my behavior at that meeting and in my whole career thus far to a tee.

But the truth of the matter is that it is a mask. In part this is who I am, I am passionate; I dream and think big. I do have a vision of a major spiritual evolution in this world in my lifetime. I truly believe that if I heal the entire human race and the planet will heal. I see clearly that I am a microcosm of the entire Universe, we are connected, we are one. I create this reality so as I heal this world will too.

Back to the Queen of Swords (sorry for the tangent). I brought all of myself to a career that I was not in all honestly passionate about. But I didn’t know how not to be my true self in that space so I brought my passion and visionary nature to my work. I also brought the dark side of that coin with me as well. I brought my perfectionist nature. The result has been burn out, misery and imbalance.

I am now consciously working on putting down my Queen of Swords mask. In the long run, yes this means pursuing a career as a Professional Tarot Reader. In the short run this means creating boundaries on my current job. These boundaries have to be both external and internal. That means learning to not be the Queen of Swords, internally release my perfectionism and ambition about this job so I can refocus that passion into my true calling. And being able to say no to unrealistic requests and not even thinking about my job after 4pm Monday to Friday.

The Tarot reflected back to me the mask that I’ve been wearing, particularly on a day when I felt compelled to really step into that Queen of Swords persona. Pulling this card was very enlightening.

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