“Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.”
– Eckhart Tolle
For me the letting go process started with full acceptance of my present life circumstances. Even the areas of my life that I do not like and wish to improve or change. Instead of always making goals and working towards improving things I accept my life as it is right now.
Self improvement and achievement can be very powerful forces, if they are approached from the right space. We often work towards goals or aim to make changes because we think it will bring happiness or because we feel we are not worthy of love or attention. Even if we succeed in our goal we will not fill the void we feel or feel love, worth or acknowledgement – at least not more than temporarily.
When we approach goals and make changes after going through a spiritual awakening the results will be very different. Since, in our awakened state we are aware of the root desires of our self improvement efforts and goals we will let those desires govern our efforts instead of letting the egoic goal we connected to that need become the most important result of our efforts.
For me to fully accept my life circumstances I need to recognize the areas of my life that are hard for me to accept. I need to take full personal responsibility for that life circumstance; not blaming people or external circumstances for that issue in my life. Then, I need to do the very best I can to resolve that issue.
What I mean by doing my very best is a critical factor. We cannot do better than our best, that is impossible. When we start to feel that our best is not good enough to resolve a problem or change a situation that is a clear indicator that we have not let go. If we are in denial or ignoring a circumstance we don’t like we have not let go. If we are blaming something or someone the issue we have not let go. So, unless we actually do our part to resolve the challenges in our lives we’ll be tied to them and not be able to let go.
Resistance is this state, where we either constantly blame external causes for this negative circumstance or we feel powerless to correct it because we feel our best will never be good enough to resolve the issue. We can regain our power by believing that our best is good enough and that what we cannot manage will be taken care of. We regain our power by taking action and doing what we can do. Not by choosing inaction, external blaming, being in denial or at absolute worse believing these circumstances are there because we are not worthy of happiness or love.
Letting go is the act of doing everything within our power and then trusting that things will all work out for the best.
It’s also understanding that we do not know what that best outcome is. The “how” of things is not really up to us nor does it need to be. That is the part we need to let go of. Letting go is the “leap of faith” that something greater than our ego-self will manage the circumstances in our lives; if we just do our best and then trust that things will work out for the best.
For example, I honestly see that I’m not managing my money well and as a result I have a lot of stress in my life about paying bills, covering all my expenses and saving money. I need to acknowledge that this is not because my parents didn’t teach me to do it or that I have bad luck finding a job that pays more, etc. I have to take action to do my best to improve this situation. I may do that by creating a budget and doing my best to follow it. I do this to my very best ability (not trying to do more than I realistically can). If I start to worry about how I’ll make ends meet; that is my opportunity to let go. I can choose to release my fears and trust that as long as I do my best that this issue will improve in time.
Only when we do our very best do we put ourselves into a state where we are open to full acceptance of our current life and we can release all resistance. Once we completely release resistance we open ourselves up to letting go completely and trust that we’ll be directed on to the best path. A path that will lead to resolving all the challenges we face in the best way possible for us (which may not be the way we have envisioned). We choose to trust that Source will take care of our needs and desires.
We are then free to focus on the positive things in our lives and free to live in the present. We can create goals and work to improve ourselves from a place of self love and full trust in ourselves and the universe, not from a place of lack and fear. As mentioned, we may find that our goals and ideas about self improvement change after the process of letting go. Or we may find that although the goal is the same our understanding of why it exists is very different from what we first thought when we approached it from an ego perspective. Once we let go we become co-creators of our lives, we work with the current of Source to create a life of meaning and happiness.